Category Travel

I was trying to save my traveling stories of dumb shit I do for some perfect time or ideal publication but honestly, I think it’s funny, so I want to share it with you.

I’ve noticed that some of my favorite traveling stories to share with people are often the ones I should probably be embarrassed about. But who doesn’t like to laugh at that idiot person who bought a small package of yeast thinking it was butter? I know I do.

While all these could potentially be short stories, for now, they are just a list. Maybe I’ll start writing about each one individually and if I do, I’ll start linking to that full story. On that note, if there’s one where you desperately need to hear the whole story, let me know! Put it in a comment! Send me an email! Write a personalized post card! It’s your choice really.

So without further ramblings,

The Dumb Shit I’ve Done Traveling:

Israel/Euro-trip:

• Somehow losing an entire outfit without realizing it. I still don’t know where I left them.

• Buying sparkling red wine when I wanted normal cheap red wine. On the bright side — I will never forget that frizzante means sparkling or fizzy in Italian.

• Slicing the tip of my thumb while cutting chorizo. I have no excuses for this one other than the chorizo was really good and the knife was really sharp.

• Dropping a hot oven tray on my knee. I was trying to save a pizza, can you blame me? Why anyone trusted me to take a sliding pizza out of the oven is another question.

• Buying a cube of yeast thinking it was a baby cube of butter. It fit in the palm of my hand. It was SO cute. Fun fact though, fresh yeast does not taste cute.

• Almost taking someone else’s bread at a bakery because the woman put it on the counter next to mine. The first time, the lady laughed, and we moved on. The next morning when I accidentally did it again she was not so amused. What can I say, shopping in a language I don’t know is stressful.

• Forgetting to put on sunscreen then going climbing in the sun for four hours. The word for after-sun in French is après-soleil.

Iceland:

• Making a detailed itinerary of my cycling route, then forgetting the itinerary in the pack I left behind.

• Also, conveniently leaving my journal I was going to document the trip with in that pack.

• Not realizing there was a specific bike path and biking on a motorway. In my defense, it hadn’t looked like a motorway at first.

• Buying a can of beans then not having a can opener. Note to self: not all cans are easy open.

• The biggest one for Iceland: Not being much of a cyclist and deciding to do a 6-day bikepacking trip by myself. Who’d have thought that was a bad idea?

Spain:

• My personal favorite: Not reading the fine print on my plane ticket and missing the flight because I hadn’t gotten a visa stamp at the check-in desk.

• Boarding the wrong bus and then missing the last train of the day because I hadn’t bought tickets ahead of time.

• Leaving a bathing suite out to dry at your hostel is a practical thing to do, right? Less practical — forgetting to repack it before leaving the hostel.

Hopefully, this has made you feel better about your traveling incidents. Or maybe you’re a perfect traveler, in which case, hopefully I’ve given you a reason to laugh or be deeply confused at how anyone could travel so much and still make so many mistakes. Maybe both.

Happy traveling!

Nine days is hardly enough time to see an entire country, but Birthright sure does try to pack it all in and make it work. Our leaders and tour guide herded all 29 of us from one place to another to make sure we got the “authentic” experience. Sound contradictory to you? Me too. However, with the restraints the trip has, the trip did a pretty great job. I didn’t know what I was expecting, but in the end it was definitely a trip I’m happy I made.

What is Birthright?

Birthright is a trip to Israel for youth from 18 to 26 years old (there’s now also a 27 to 32 option) who have any sort of Jewish background. The trip is funded in part by the Israeli government, but primarily by donations (especially from a few super donor billionaires with known political leanings…). At the same time, Birthright says they are apolitical and mean to show Israel without bias. I think they may try to do this, but there will always at least be some bias and there is something to be said for looking for more information than just the facts that they give (same with information from any source, really).

In short, Birthright is the main organization, which pays other tour services to actually lead the trips. Because of that, there are a ton of different types of trips with different themes and goals. The trip I did was called “Hi-Gear” and advertised outdoor adventure. There were other themes like cooking, LGBT, classic, and history. Really a big, “choose your own Jewish adventure”.

The Itinerary

There are certain parts of every trip that is all the same, then extra sites depending on the trip type. In general, the trips are all pretty streamlined, so I’m not going to spend too much time on it. My trip went something like this:

Day one/Thursday: Get into Tel Aviv super late and drive 1 ½ hours to the hotel.

Day two/Friday: 6:30 am start then four hour drive south, hiking, short rappel, and night in Eilat.

Day three/Saturday: Shabbat. Geopolitical lecture and beach swimming. Night out in Eilat.

Day four/Sunday: Early morning hike and snorkeling in Eilat, then 4 hour drive to Tel Aviv. Night out in Tel Aviv.

Day five/Monday: 7 am breakfast to drive 1 ½ hours from Netanya to Tel Aviv. Day in Tel Aviv then driving 3 hours north.

Day six/Tuesday: Early morning hike then a glass of wine at a winery and rafting after.

Day seven/Wednesday: Early start to drive 3 hours back to Tel Aviv for the Holocaust Remembrance Museum. 2 hour drive south. Camping (getting to sleep around 12 am).

Day eight/Thursday: 3:30 am wake up to hike Masada and see the sunrise. Camel riding, the dead sea, and Krav Maga after dinner.

Day nine/Friday: Day in Jerusalem. Shabbat dinner.

Day ten/Saturday: Shabbat. Relaxing, packing, looking back on the trip. Then bus to the airport (for everyone not extending) at 1:30 am.

One prevailing factor on the trip: a whole lot of activity and driving with a distinct lack of sleep. On the other hand, we covered a lot of ground, spent a lot of time outside, and learned a lot about Israel and different people’s perspectives on being Jewish. The good and bad of a packed schedule.

The Experience

If you’ve read any of my past posts, you’ll know I usually travel solo. This was very different. We clogged sidewalks and took over restaurants. I was now a part of the matching-shirt-lanyard-wearing groups that I try to avoid. Add in my general introverted tendencies, and big groups can get overwhelming. Half the time, I’d almost guiltily pass up going for drinks with everyone to sit in my room by myself instead.

We were shuttled around, told interesting information about the places we saw, and spoon fed facts about the culture. I shut my brain off and enjoyed the ride, but I wouldn’t call it an active learning experience. I only really put the cities together when I was on my own taking the bus through Jerusalem and the train to and from Tel Aviv.

On the other hand, the people I met on the trip made being in a group worth it. In some ways, it turned into a classic high school scene with cliques and status. At the same time, everyone was nice, welcoming and no one acted “better” than anyone else. There wasn’t a single person in the group you couldn’t have a productive, fun, or interesting conversation with. Hearing other people’s stories and perspectives was probably the most memorable part of the trip.

Mid-way through the trip, I created a goal to get candid photos of every person in our group. I wanted to get photos of people when they weren’t posing, but just being themselves. I did better for some photos than for others. By the end, getting all 30+ became a bit of a rush order and I admit, some people’s photos ended up posed. A good portion of the group also probably saw me taking what looked like creepy stalker photos. Some of the photos I was pretty happy with though. At one point, maybe I’ll post all of them (with everyone’s permission of course) but for now, a couple of my favorites.

Yes, I did just make that absolutely terrible pun. You may be sitting at your computer face-palming or shaking your head, but let’s be honest — you kind of liked it. Behind the shame and disgust, there’s a little part of you that kind of laughed at my ridiculous play on words. If not, well, I’ll just go stand in a corner and enjoy my puns on my own.

Hi! I’m Johanna. I’m a freelance writer, traveler, and climber. I like learning new things and have more interests than I’d want to list off here (if you want to know more about me, check out my about page!). I LOVE puns though. Any play on words is an amazing game if you ask me. SO, if you’re a fan of puns, (mis)adventure, and travel then you are in the right place. (Ask your doctor if My Flying Carpet is right for you! Side effects include, but are not limited to: shame, laughter, wanderlust, and anger.)

I write this for fun. The idea is that each post’s title is a pun. I do write other, more serious things on other platforms and you can find that writing here. This blog however, it mostly for the love of puns and to write things without necessarily worrying about if anyone else is actually going to enjoy it. If you do, great! Let me know! Let’s talk! You can contact me here. If you don’t, well… I’ll probably still be here writing and sharing some thoughts and some puns.

Happy reading and happy adventuring!

I got artichoked up about it.

If you’ve ever driven along the California coast anywhere between the Bay Area and Monterey, you’ve likely seen the fruit and vegetable stands scattered along the highway. “Sweet Cherries!” “Sour Cherries!” “Avocados 5 for $1!” Signs lining the road encouraging you to stop in for some cheap produce. If you’ve never stopped in at one, (I get it, it’s not your standard Trader Joe’s) you should.

These places have some of the best (and biggest) produce I’ve ever seen. This past weekend, I found artichokes the size of my head and strawberries almost as big as my fist. The best part about these stands is they are going to have local produce.

Given that California grows “over a third of the country’s vegetables and two-thirds of the country’s fruits and nuts“, it shouldn’t be a huge surprise that these stands sell the best. I won’t forego my next Trader Joe’s run, but if I’m already driving along Highway 1, I almost always stop at a stand for a car snack or veggies to cook for dinner.

In Season Produce

Of course, the majority of what the stands will be selling will be in season. However, if you want to be extra certain or if you’re on the hunt for the best produce at your local supermarket, check out what’s in season!

In Season Early May

In California, we’re lucky to have a lot of growing time. Especially in May. Some highlights include: apricots, blueberries, cherries, and artichokes.

For the whole list and to find out what’s in season any time of the year or any location in the US, check out this seasonal food guide.

The driving force of a good car journey.

“Are we there yet?” Let’s be honest — after 5 hours in a car, is there anyone not thinking that? Whether I’m the driver or a passenger, there’s always a point when I just want to get out of the car. Add in never being able to fall asleep in a car, and I’m always thinking of new ways to make car trips more productive, entertaining, or just bearable. During my recent road trip, these were the main reasons I didn’t drive myself (completely) insane. Pun intended.

Podcasts

My favorite podcast to listen to in the car has most recently been the BBC 2 Confessions podcast. Listeners write in their confessions and the hosts read them out then decide whether to “forgive” or not. One of my favorite confessions is a woman’s story from when she was a kid: she and her sister burn everything in her mother’s closet except a ball gown to keep a bonfire going for as long as possible.

The podcast ended in December, but there are tons of past available episodes to play. I have also heard that the show will be starting up again on Scala radio and they say they’ll be starting up a podcast soon. Right now, they are only on Youtube.

If confessions aren’t your thing, there are plenty of other options for podcasts or audio books. Whether you want to learn something new, have a good laugh, catch up on current events, or get into politics there’s probably at least a dozen different podcasts to choose from. Here are a few ideas from Afar Magazine to get you started.

Music

Okay, this is a given. It’s the classic road tripping tool. Blast your favorite genre and sing along. If you use Spotify, they have some excellent already built playlists. This one was my favorite for this past road trip.

Games

If you’re driving with people, playing games is a great option. I’ve grown especially attached to a game based on license plates. Take the letters from a license plate and try to think of a phrase with those letters as the first of each word. For example, the letters STW might turn into “Snakes Take Weapons” or “Speak Truthful Wisdom”. Try to think of the wackiest phrase and everyone in the car will end up laughing.

If that game isn’t your cup of tea, you can look here for a few other game options.

Have any other ideas? Share your road trip tricks in the comments!

In a good way

I discovered cruise control on this trip and I’m not exaggerating when I say it has done wonders for my driving. Okay, I started driving in July 2018, so I’d probably improve no matter what after doing 3 to 8 hours of driving each day for 6 days, but still.

Starting in Santa Fe, New Mexico, I went up to Denver to pick up a friend who drove to Salt Lake City via Moab with me. Then I had two 6 1/2 hour solo driving days and one slightly lonely night of camping until Oakland, California.

The entire time, three thoughts kept running through my head. One, “where can I be spontaneous and find something I wasn’t looking for?” Two, “where am I sleeping tonight and can it be free?” And three, “where can I find the cheapest gas??” Well, the most spontaneous I got was going to a lunch spot in Reno and ending up with a bowl of rice, sea food, cucumber, sea weed, and mango. I’m not going to say it tasted bad, but I drank a lot of water with it and had to throw away the last bit because I was so full.

Most of the trip, I found free campsites. My friend showed me this website that shows a ton of free campsites around the country (and some in other countries too). A lot of the campsites they show are more for campers or RVs and sometimes just rest stops or parking lots, but there are plenty other gems in there like this one I found near Austin, Nevada.

We found all three campsites we used from that website and they were all A+ (toilets, flat ground, accessible, nice views).

As for cheap gas, the further west I got, the more expensive gas prices got. However, the small towns in Nevada generally had more expensive prices than somewhere like Reno. Google maps also gives a ball park idea of prices and Siri can also tell you average gas prices of different cities (for when you’re driving alone and can’t look at your phone).

So long for now, Iceland

It’s been almost a week since I’ve left Iceland and I cannot believe how quickly it all went. It feels like just yesterday I was getting pelted with rain and wind while attempting to cycle up hills… Good times. To sum up, I wanted to do a bit of an overview of the route I ended up doing and since visuals are always helpful:

So, if I had managed to cycle the entire route, I would have travelled approximately 208 miles/335 km and climbed 4,022 ft/ 1,226 meters in six days. Since I did not cycle the entire way, my estimated total is actually something around 142 miles/ 228 km and 2,367 ft/ 721 meters in six days. Slightly less impressive, but I’ll take it. Of course, that does include carrying all the food, camping gear, clothes, and toiletries on the bike and on a bike, that weight adds up.

Funniest part of the trip was when I tried to get off my bike on the side of the road, lost my balance, and just tipped over because of how heavy the panniers were. Of course, the whole bike tipped over on top of me too. I inwardly hope some driver passing by did a spit-take or something seeing this cyclist all decked out in waterproof gear randomly tipping over.

Overall though, I’d say it was a success. It was cold, wet, and mentally exhausting, but a success nonetheless. If I had a chance to go back and do it differently, I might have tried to go up the west coast instead, because I heard the weather is sometimes better in that area and it might have been less touristy, but we live and learn.

That’s all for now. Who knows when I’ll get traveling again or where I’ll be going, but hopefully it’ll be soon!

Keeping it chill

As much as adventuring and traveling alone has it’s peaceful and enlightening moments, I have to admit it does have its downsides. For one, I’ve have a lot of time to think about what I’ve left behind in Scotland. The past year, I have made some amazing friends and met people I will never forget. While I hope to stay connected with many of them in this exciting world of technology, it is far from being able to send a quick facebook message and meet up 30 minutes later for a spontaneous sea dip. I miss that. I think it’ll be a long time before I stop missing the community I found in St. Andrews. Traveling alone is such an extreme difference, it’s hard not to miss it even more.

Don’t get me wrong, I love traveling alone – you meet way more new people and get to do exactly what you want without having to compromise. Just today, I’ve met an English guy named Terry who spends 6 months out of every year traveling and a German girl named Carol who also studied English and is now a marketing manager. On the other hand, when I’m by myself in my tent, it’s cold, and the wind is shaking the tent like crazy, it can be hard to remember there’s a world outside the tent where you’re not all alone.

In other news, it took me two hours to cycle just under 10 miles today because of headwind. Some horses looked at me like I was from mars then started running along the fence with me. So far, I’ve had at least seven people say in some way or another either, they’re impressed I’m cycling by myself in Iceland or I’m crazy for cycling by myself in Iceland. I’m inclined to go with the latter.

It’s hard to beat reigning wind

I have to confess that I cheated today (and it’s only the first day!). I got my bike all fitted out from Reykjavik bike tours and as I started cycling, it started raining.

It took me approximately 4 hours to ride 12 miles and I wasn’t even close to where I’d planned to camp for the first night. My waterproof trousers were drenched and when I stood up my shoes made that squashy sound like when you step in mud. I was on flat ground, cycling on the lowest gear, and still struggling because of the headwind. Then add in the hills and I was a goner. The thing that kept me from full tantrum mode though was the little ray of sunlight that created a full rainbow right in front of me.

At the top of a hill I’d been pushing my bike up, a guy with a pickup truck flashed his turn signal and a little further up he pulled over. I struggled back onto my bike and fought my way through the head wind and rain to the truck. Ten minutes drive and one hill later, the guy pointed to the side of the road and said ‘that’s where you’d be 2 hours from now if you’d kept riding.’ We drove another 15 minutes until actually getting to Selfoss.

After all, Ireland is only one “C” away from Iceland

Okay so I know I didn’t fly out of Ireland and it is very different from Scotland, but I had to do it for the pun. Geographically, it’s pretty close and I couldn’t help myself. Today begins what I am sure will be a cool (pun intended) adventure if nothing else. Traveling alone, I find I meet way more people and cycling alone will be an adventure in itself for sure. Already, I’ve met a musician moving from Detroit to Berlin and hitched two rides with different people. Today, I will get my bike and pray the rain doesn’t come in to heavy.That’s all for now!